I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
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DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
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I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed