Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
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Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
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We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.