I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Since when is my clitoris pierced?