K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize