Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
