We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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