You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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