dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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