i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
