So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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