Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
