I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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