he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
