Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
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