Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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