If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
