Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I wish I could punch you in the face.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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