The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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