If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
