that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
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I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
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I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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