The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
