Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
