this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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