The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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