Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
