Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm always down for nudity.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
