...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
