Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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