he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
