mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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