so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
