Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
