new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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