I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
