Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
