so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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