i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
