i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
