I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
