i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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