I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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