So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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