You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You may now shotgun with the bride
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
