dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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