Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
