I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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