Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
