from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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