after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize