I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
