sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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