Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize