so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
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The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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