I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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