One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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