i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
