i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
