My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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