We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
4 words: hood of his car
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
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And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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