i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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