and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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