physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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