I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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