Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
there is glitter all over my balls
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
