Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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