I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
