Where is the hickey?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
