Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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