yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
