I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
