Yo dont text me then not text me
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
