I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
